Naruto's Diary
by dreadlord789
Summary: The war has come to an end, but all is still not right. His final gift was his diary, and the one who reads it will discover that she has played a larger part in his life, more than she ever realized.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi guys! Now i know lots of people are probably a little pissed that im making so many new stories... but know this: If it doesnt have that 'complete' status then i havent abandoned it! I'm just really busy. In fact, i shouldnt have even spent the time to write this, but oh well.**

**SPOILER ALERT**

**If you arent current on the manga, Madara used Obito to bring himself back to life and is preparing to remake the Jubi. He sucked Kurama out of Naruto, and this takes place a little later, when Madara is fighting all the Shinobi, but before he becomes a Jinchuriki.**

**disclaimer: I dont own Naruto**

_**Chapter**_ 1

_Squelch!_

This was it, it was finally over. Madara cast a glance downwards, to the appendage sticking out of his chest where his heart was. He blinked once, twice, three times; then he violently threw up blood as the arm rammed through his heart was pulled back. Madara placed a shaking hand over the hole in his chest as he turned around to see the one responsible for his demise. He came face to face with none other than Naruto Uzumaki, the ex-host of the Kyubi before Madara forcibly removed the Biju from inside him.

"No… NO! I… I won't die like this!"

He took a step forward and tried to form a few hand seals, but he fell to his knees panting.

"What… What did you do to me!?"

Naruto shook his head to ward off the exhaustion. "I destroyed your heart and sent my chakra through your bloodstream to cause your body to break down. Becoming human was the worst mistake you could have made, and now, you've paid the ultimate price."

Madara laughed hollowly. "You can't stop me… NO ONE CAN! You think this puny attack will stop me? I'm Madara! I'm the Kami of this world!"

He coughed up more blood and began wheezing.

"No! I don't believe this! This can't be happening! This cant-"

His eyes finally glazed over and rolled up into his head. He fell forward into the dirt and his lungs deflated for the last time. At long last, Uchiha Madara, enemy of all life everywhere, was dead.

Naruto looked at the body of his enemy and felt only pity. Madara's entire life was built around vengeance and anger. He had long since closed his heart off to love and kindness, going throughout life a bitter shell of a person, a fate worse than death.

Naruto suddenly began to feel the toll of the battle. He could feel his entire essence being drained by the empty pit the Kyubi left, and he too began to pant.

"NARUTO!"

He looked up to see the Shinobi alliance approaching him. All his friends and precious people, from all over the elemental nations, were before him. He was happy his last sight in this world would be a good one.

He fell to the dirt with a smile, breathing shallowly while the rookie 12, recently reunited with the addition of Sasuke, stood around him. Everyone's expressions turned to worry and concern when he started breathing shallowly.

Sakura, Hinata, and Ino, the only ones with medical experience, were trying to figure out what was wrong. Sakura turned Naruto onto his back.

"Naruto! What's wrong!? What's happening!?"

He used what strength he could muster to open his eyes and form a light smile. "Sorry… guys. It… doesn't look like… I'll be able… to celebrate… the victory…"

Hinata knelt down next to him and took his hand in hers while forcing back the tears. "Naruto-kun, what are you talking about? This isn't funny!"

Naruto chuckled into a fit of coughing. "Sorry… Hinata-chan, but this isn't… a joke. Not… this time. A human… can't handle… that kind of… power. It… it was just too much… for my body. Kurama's chakra… was the only thing… keeping me alive… When he was… forced out of me… my body… began to break down." Tears were flowing down his face now. "There is so much… I still wanted to do. I *sniff* still need… to become Jounin… *sniff* take a team… *sniff* start a family… I'm so scared guys… I… I don't want to die…"

All the Shinobi gathered around did their best not to let their emotions break loose. They had to be strong for their friend in his last moments, to offer him whatever consonances they could as he crossed to the other side.

Naruto mustered his courage and formed his last words in his head.

"Sasuke. Please… come back to the village… find love… rebuild your clan… and be happy. Please… just bury… your hatred… and come back… and find happiness."

The stoic Uchiha couldn't take it anymore and broke down. He fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands as he watched his brother and rival die in front of him. Never before had he felt so helpless, and the only thing he could do was honor the last wishes of his late brother. "H… Hai…"

Naruto smiled again. "Neji… Tenten… I wish you all the luck… in the world. I can… see how much… you guys love… each other, and… it makes me a little… jealous!" He let out a mirthful laugh at his own humor, but once again it descended into a full blow bout of coughing, and this time blood came up.

"Shikamaru… Chouji… Ino… Look after… each other… and make sure… to do your… parents proud. I know… they are watching… over us from… heaven."

Ino descended into a sob and turned to Chouji, throwing herself into the arms of the closest person. He just rubbed her back, trying to comfort her as best he could.

Naruto looked up to Lee. "Lee… I know you will make… Gai-sensei proud and… become the best Taijutsu… practitioner in the world!"

Lee wiped the tears off and smiled as best he could to his friend. "I will Naruto. I will."

Naruto looked at Shino and Kiba. "I… need you guys to… take care of Hinata… when I'm gone."

Hinata buried her face in Naruto's chest. "No! Don't talk like that! You're going to pull through! You're not going to die! You hear me!? You're going to be ok!"

Naruto put a hand on her head and slowly rubbed her hair, still looking at Kiba and Shino. "You can't let her… become depressed… when I'm gone. Help her through this… please?"

Kiba brought up and arm to silently cry while Shino put a hand on his shoulder for support. Kiba looked down at Naruto. "Hai. We'll take care of her. That's the promise of a lifetime, Naruto."

Naruto sighed in relief. Two more. He looked over at Sakura, who was still trying to desperately heal him as tears fell down her face.

"Sakura… thank you for always… being my friend… and always putting up with… all my shit. I wouldn't… trade… those memories… for anything in the world. And… when you guys… leave here… make sure… *sniff* make sure… *sniff* make sure to tell Sasuke he's a teme!"

Sakura stopped her healing and collapsed onto his chest, right next to Hinata, who was still telling him not to give up. Naruto put his hand under her chin and lifted her up to look at him.

"Hinata… There's so much… I want to say to you… right now. There… are so many… regrets."

He slowly lifted up his left sleeve to reveal a small seal. He showed it to Hinata.

"Can you… please?"

She sniffed and channeled a small amount of chakra into the seal. Suddenly a small dark blue book poofed into existence, and she barely caught it before it fell to the ground.

"Hinata… that is for… you… Read it when I'm… when I'm… Oh Kami… It's so hard… I… I've never been so scared…"

Hinata closed her eyes in a futile attempt to ward off the emotions flowing from her eyes. She opened her eyes again, and placed her hands on either side of Naruto's face.

"Naruto-kun. I'm so sorry… I'm so ashamed of myself… Only now, at the end, do I finally have the courage to do this."

She brought her lips to his and kissed him with as much passion as she could force into those last precious moments he had left. She cried into the kiss, and yet she couldn't help but feel a small amount of happiness that Naruto was putting just as much emotion into their embrace as she was.

It was only after Naruto fell back to the ground that they finally broke apart. He had just left Hinata there, with her eyes still semi-closed and her lips still puckered.

"No… NO! NARUTO-KUN! COME BACK! COME BACK!"

Everyone fell down to their knees, wrapped around whoever was close and crying their heart out. No one wanted to accept that fact that their friend, their savior, their hero, was dead.

"MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!"

Everyone turned to see Minato, one of the last remaining Edo Tensei approaching them in his golden chakra cloak.

"I SAID MOVE! I CAN SAVE HIM!"

Everyone looked up at him and stared at him as he approached. The rookies moved away for him and let him kneel next to his son.

Hinata didn't have the strength to accept Naruto's death, so she clung onto the hope that he could come back, as slim as it was.

"How!? Please! Bring him back to me Yondaime-sama!"

He put a hand on Naruto's old seal and began concentrating. "I have Kurama's Yin chakra sealed within me. I sealed Kurama's chakra, or his Yang half, into Naruto, so I don't know if this will work. I can only pray that this will be enough to let him survive."

Everyone watched in fascination as the golden chakra slowly was absorbed into Naruto's skin, and they all hoped beyond hope that this would work. On and on the process continued, and no one couldn't even hear a breath as they all stayed silent for the Yondaime to concentrate. Hinata held Naruto's hand up to her forehead and closed her eyes in prayer. She had never really considered herself religious, but at that point in time she was willing to try anything to get Naruto back.

After the longest eternity, she felt something. It was weak, but it was there. Slowly, ever so slowly, she began to feel a pulse. The faintest pulse she had ever felt over her three year tutelage as a medical ninja, but a pulse none the less.

Minato fell over onto his back exhausted as he slowly began crumbling away into dust. "Tell him that I've never been more proud of anyone ever in my life, and if his mother was here, I'm sure she would say the same."

Hinata didn't hear him, she couldn't. As soon as she felt his pulse, she bent so her ear was next to his mouth, and as soon as she felt his breath on her cheek, she buried herself in his neck and thanked anyone and everyone for bringing him back from the dead.

**_A Week Later_**

It was a hard week. There were thousands of bodies to find and tag. Friends, family, lovers; they all had to be found and buried. There was still much rejoicing at their victory, but they all acknowledged that it came with a heavy price.

Even those who celebrated Naruto's return found that they had done so prematurely. He might not have been dead, but it did mean he was alive. He was stuck in a bed, with an IV in his arm, in one of the strongest comas any doctor in the world had ever seen.

Everyone had tried everything to wake him up, but the one conclusion that each and every doctor was forced to come to was that only time would tell. The Konoha Shinobi had gone back home, and tried to resume life as normal, or at least as normal as they could.

It was late at night, and there were still several people in the hospital room that Naruto now occupied. Iruka, Kakashi, Tsunade, Sakura, Saskue, and Hinata were all watching him, praying that he would wake up soon.

One by one, they all filed out, till there was only one. Hinata brought up the chair next Naruto's bed and took his left hand in her right while she clutched the small book Naruto had given her. She figured that now would be as good a time as any to start reading; she knew she wouldn't be getting any sleep anyway.

Before she could start the door opened and a nurse looked at Hinata. "Ano… Hyuga-sama, the hospital isn't allowing any overnight visits tonight…"

Hinata sent a pleading look towards the nurse. The woman suddenly didn't have the heart to remove her from the room.

"*sigh* Alright, you can stay tonight, just try not to get caught. I don't want to get in trouble."

She closed the door and left Hinata to go back to the small book. She opened up the first page and was barely able to make out the words. She knew that it had to have been a child who wrote this, and by the looks of it said child was self-taught.

'This is the diary of Uzumaki Naruto, age 5.'

Hinata traced the lines of the pen with her finger. She glanced over at Naruto and smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. With a sigh and a heavy hand she flipped the page and prepared to read about Naruto's life from his point of view.

**END**

**AN: Ok, so, this is how this will play out:**

**Whenever i get that creative urge, i will post a chapter. Each chapter will be an excerpt from Naruto's diary until noted otherwise.**

**Please review and tell me what you all think!**

**Peace!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone, how's it going? Well, for all those who care here is another chapter from your's truly.**

**Disclaimer: I dont own Naruto**

**_Chapter 2_**

Hinata looked at the writing on the first entry, and she could tell that Naruto didn't start writing in his new diary until much later. The penmanship looked much neater than the front cover, and she estimated that it was nearly three years before he actually got around to writing in his diary. It would seem that his attention span was about just as long as a boy as it was as a teen.

_October 11__th_

'_Jiji got me a diary for my fifth birthday, but I haven't really written anything for a few years now, but I don't really have anyone to play with or anything to do. I don't really write, so I will just see how it goes. Can't hurt can it? _

_I heard that people write about their hobbies and goals in journals like these, so I will just do that I guess._

_Most of the time I play alone and don't really do anything besides prank those jerks that ignore me. That and eat lots of ramen. There's this new place called Ichiraku, and they have some of the best ramen out there. I don't have a whole lot of friends besides Jiji, but sometimes I get the feeling he visits me because he has to, not because he wants to. Well, I guess that's about it._'

Hinata sighed, not expecting such sadness to come from someone who was always so happy and upbeat. She looked at the next passage and gasped. It was on the same day as her birthday, what a weird coincidence.

_December 27__th_

'_I finally managed to ditch all those drunken idiots after I swiped that ham. Every year they think they can catch me when they leave the bars, and every year someone gets hurt because they trip on their own two feet. If it takes at least an ANBU to catch me when I pull a big prank, what makes those idiots think they have a shot? Sometimes I feel guilty about having to steal food, but the allowance from Jiji runs out at the end of the month… Hey! It's the holidays, I shouldn't feel too bad. Right now it's in the tub defrosting, ham sandwiches for a week! Then I guess it's back to ramen once I finally get a bit of spending money._

_It's getting cold outside, and I overheard that it's supposed to snow tonight, guess I better go see if I can find another blanket somewhere. I hate the first few months of the year. It's always so cold, and my landlord always conveniently "forgets" to turn on my heat sometimes, so I freeze my butt off. It also sucks taking a shower, usually only have about three minutes of hot water if I'm lucky._

_Usually around this time I feel lonely… especially when I see all those happy families walking around laughing and buying presents. Sometimes I wish Jiji would stop lying to me and just tell me who my parents were. He has such a bad poker face that sometimes I think he was never taught how to tell a convincing lie._

_Well, it's late so I guess I'll just write whenever I feel like it next._'

Hinata looked at the blonde next to her and found a new sense of respect. She had known that his childhood was rough, but she never really knew _how_ rough since he never talked about it. It was one of the few sore spots he had, and all the times she _had_ managed to say a few words to him, it was certainly never about his childhood. She sighed and looked at the next passage.

_May 13__th_

She stared at the date. She couldn't place her finger on it, but there was certainly something about that date that seemed important.

'_Well, I'm in the hospital, again. I was walking down the street when I found these three older guys picking on a little girl. She had really pretty bluish hair and her eyes were really weird. They were really pale and didn't have any pupils, but it was a good weird, it was a really cute weird. Anyway, when I saw them picking on her I got mad and decided to try and stop them. Well, that didn't really do anything since they just beat the crap out of me while she just watched. I guess she was scared and couldn't move, but come on, at least go get help or something right? Anyway, I passed out soon after that and I woke up in this stupid hospital room. At least Jiji brought me my diary, so it isn't completely terrible. He told me that the girl was ok, so that's a plus… I thought that maybe if I helped her, we could be friends… but I guess I was wrong…_'

The next sentence she couldn't make out due to splotches on the paper. She immediately recognized it as water damage, from tears. His tears.

'_It's getting harder… Seeing everyone with friends and family when I don't have anyone… Whenever I try and make a new friend, they all get taken away by their parents, and I'm left there alone again. It hurts so much, and I don't think I can take it anymore… I don't think I can live like this anymore, so I'm going to try again._

_If it works and this is found, know that I'm sorry for whatever I did. Goodbye.'_

Hinata gasped and brought a hand to her mouth. She looked over to the blonde next to her and couldn't believe he was the same one who wrote those words. She had never known he had been in such a dark place as a child, and feelings of guilt and regret began bubbling up to the surface. She turned the page to read the next entry; she had to know if he went through with it.

_June 10__th_

'_Well, I guess that didn't work as well as I thought. I never knew I had ANBU watching me, but of course they had to show up right then instead of helping me whenever those crowds manage to catch me. Jiji said I'm on some kind of "watch" for my own good. He talked to me for a long time about why I did it, but he can't understand, no one can. Everyone is with their families in their nice warm houses, happy as could be. I'm going to have to be more careful now. Jiji said something about me joining the academy in a few months, so I guess I'll see how it goes before I decide anything._

_I've spent a lot of time thinking, and I know how I can make life easier for myself. It's really simple; I just have to act like a bumbling idiot. If I act like an incompetent idiot then no one will suspect a thing, and people might leave me alone for once. I guess I'll just have to give it a try and see how things go._

_I hope that at least I can make a new friend since there won't be any stupid parents to drag their kids away from me. Heck, I would even settle for someone just to sit next to without getting yelled at. Is one friend too much to ask for?'_

Hinata closed the page and shut her eyes. She couldn't read anymore. It was making her sick to her stomach that she had just found out that Naruto's entire persona was an act, a front he put up to make people like him. She had always thought that she had a rough childhood, having a demeaning father and a hostile family is definitely not something anyone would wish for, but at the same time she had always had friends and at least a few people in her family that were nice to her.

Naruto on the other hand never had anyone. No friends, no family, no one to even take care of him. The fact that he had to fake his personality in hopes of at least being treated like a normal human being was enough to bring tears to her eyes. Now that she thought about it, it has probably been going on his entire life, having to be a different person to just survive, and now no one would ever know the real him. No one would ever be able to show him that there _were_ people out there that cared about him. Sure, he made friends along the way, but those weren't _his_ friends, those were the friends of the false bravado he always put up.

She always thought that they were similar in at least some regard, having come from less than ideal childhoods, but now she saw that those were just selfish thoughts, and there was nothing she could do about it now. It was too late; it was always too late for her.

She took a deep breath to steel her resolve and fight back the tears threatening to spill out. She would discover the real Naruto, no matter what it took.

**END**

**You all know the drill. Either review, PM, or just read and nod your head.**

**For all those who liked this or are avid Naru/Hina fans, check out my other stories. I can promise that you will like at least ONE of them**

**Peace**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, i got mixed reviews for this story, and a few people expressing their desires for me to resume my work on my numerous other stories. For that i would like to apologize, Mechanical Engineering is a lot harder that i thought it would be, and it has been consuming my time like some kind of Diesel Engine in its injection cycle!... Nevermind... Lame joke...**

**And yes, i do know Neji has been killed off by Kishimoto for teh lulz, and i still had him in there. Well, ill let you in on a little secret: I was stoned out of my mind when i wrote that little part and thus i forgot. Sue me.**

**Anyway, all joking aside, i would like to present the next installment of everyone's favorite story from yours truly!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own Naruto**

**_Chapter 3_**

_August 1__st_

_'Today is my first day of school. I won't lie, I'm pretty excited. I finally get to learn how to be a ninja! I'm going to do that idiot thing and be nice to everyone. Who knows, I might even make a few friends! After this it's a straight shot to become Hokage! Once I'm in charge people will HAVE to be nice to me! Time to go, don't want to be late!'_

Hinata smiled at the entry. She could feel the child-like innocence and excitement radiating from the small boy's hastily written words. It was no surprise when the next entry took a much darker turn. Some of the ink was blotchy again, most likely from tears.

_Still August 1__st_

_'I was wrong. Nothing changed, and nothing is ever going to change. As soon as I entered the academy grounds all the teachers started glaring at me. I couldn't see them, but I could feel them. I felt like they were going to jump me in the halls, and no one would try and stop them…_

_Then I realized again how alone I was… Everyone had their parents or siblings there with them before class started… Something about meeting the teachers. It doesn't matter; no one came with me… I found this rope swing though. It was all alone, just like me, so I sat with it for a while, just watching everyone be happy. I could hear several parents talking about me, asking why I was there, like I was a virus or something, like I was trash. _

_It just got worse from there. I was the first one in the room, and I chose a spot by the window near the middle. Then this kid with white pants and a blue shirt came up and made me give him the seat. I tried to tell him I was there first, but these two girls told me to give him the seat. I didn't want to ruin the day so I just gave him the chair, what an asshole. I move to the back next to this girl with dark blue hair and pale eyes. I wonder if it is that same girl I met a while back? I'm pretty sure it was now that I think about it… not sure if I met anyone with blue hair before… I wonder if she dyes it?_

_I tried to talk to her, you know, maybe try to be friends with her since I helped her and all, but she was really quiet… I guess she doesn't like me… Just like everyone else… I eventually gave up trying to talk to her. I could tell she was scared of me; she kept glancing at me when she thought I wasn't looking._

_Then there were "evaluations", to see what we knew or what not. I could barely read half the words on the paper they gave me, and I could feel the teacher's smirk when I couldn't answer any of the questions. Then we had "spars". They paired us up "randomly", but I had to go three or four times. They paired me up with some of the biggest kids in our class, and they beat me pretty bad… But it didn't hurt too much. Not nearly as much as when the adults do it._

_After that they added up all the scores and put us in a ranking order. I wasn't surprised when I was at the bottom, in fact I expected it. Though, when everyone started to laugh and call me "dobe" or "dead-last" I got a little angry, but I stuck to the plan and just smiled through it, like an idiot._

_I died a little inside when school let out and everyone ran to their parents waiting for them. Everyone looked so happy, so… peaceful. At least until I came outside. As soon as everyone saw me, the parents started whispering to their kids and rushed them out of there. I just kept my head down and did my best to ignore everyone as I made my way home._

The next passage was really hard to read for Hinata. To her it looked like he was shaking while he was writing, and she could only guess that it was because of his cries.

_I hate it… I hate the glares, I hate the whispers, and I hate being alone… Sometimes I get this urge… It's like I can hear something telling me to let loose and destroy stuff… But I don't want to do that, I just wanna be a normal kid. I just feel so angry, all the time, every day. It scares me sometimes. At night I have nightmares where I see someone from my class on the ground with their family dead at my feet… and… I enjoyed it… I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes, and I'm scared that one day ill snap and hurt someone. I can only hope that never happens…_

Hinata finished reading and shut her eyes with a solemn expression on her face. She wiped the stray tears from her eyes with the tips of her fingers and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

She desperately wanted to stop reading. She didn't know what she was expecting when she promised to discover the real Naruto, but so far she didn't like what she was discovering. She had always thought that they were similar people, always fighting against life to reach their goals that always seemed to be just beyond their reach. Perhaps it was their similar childhoods filled with the pain of solitude that first drew her attention, and later on in life, her attraction. All this time she held this strange sense of connection, almost proud of the fact that she believed she was one of the few in their age group able to truly understand the enigma known as Naruto Uzumaki. Deep down she thought that with their similar backgrounds they would be able to understand each other, and maybe through that mutual understanding a relationship could be formed?

But she was wrong. They had never been the same. Sure, her childhood wasn't the best, and at the worst it could be called cold, but at the same time she _had_ a childhood. She was still able to go to sleep each and every night with that pure innocence of the early years of life, believing that the next day would most definitely be better than the last. She was still able to play with her few friends, hold a birthday party every year where even her father seemed a little less distant, and attend the various festivals.

Naruto never had that. He was never innocent, in fact his innocence was stolen from him minutes after he was born when he was sacrificed by the village, and he never had those delusions about life. He knew that the next day would be just as painful as the last, so he never even tried to lie to himself otherwise. His childhood, if it could even be called that, had been hell. Plain and simple.

No, she could never actually understand him. No one could. Only those who had to live day in and day out with the weight of a burden they should never have had to bear could truly know the real Naruto Uzumaki.

But, maybe, with this little blue book, Hinata could try. So she opened her eyes, wiped at her tear-stained cheeks, and began again at the next passage.

**END**

**Yeah, yeah, I know. It was short, oh well, big whoop, wanna fight about it!? Well, for those of you that do i apologize because i dont feel like getting my ass kicked, so ill just start writing something else...**

**Anyway, i am still working on some other stories, so yes, yes, i know... I havent updated in a while, so ill work on that.**

**Peace**


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